The precious moments

It's been five years now from the day that has been -unarguably- the best day of the second half of my life. That is, not counting the days of my childhood where dad picked me up from school and took me to downtown and I raced to the comic store to see which Bond collectable would I have that day (a new issue of 007 Magazine, a pack of the Connoisseur Collection trading cards or, if I was lucky, a Johnny Lighting die-cast car).

It was the day where, after two years of talking through Twitter, email and telephone, exchanging pics of ourselves, I was finally going to meet you. I'm sworn to secrecy, but things weren't easy. No human relationship is without some comings and goings, doubts, concerns, self-esteem problems from both parts... but I knew I had to be there. I had to be in Rio de Janeiro and show you that I wasn't just a voice on the phone telling you nice things. Whatever it happened, 2015 couldn't pass without meeting and telling you the same beautiful things I told you on the phone and mails, but right in your face. 

I could hardly sleep that night. The chips were on the table, the croupier was dealing the cards, and I had many times (particularly in what it comes to love) experienced that feeling of seeing all your chips being carried away with the shovel. But fortunately this wasn't the case. Things flowed. And you healed many wounds that I never thought someone could ever heal.

The thought of today being Sunday, November 1st –just like that Sunday, November 1st where I met you– is rather poignant. You were taken from us in March and I can't just stop missing you. And when I say "I miss you", I'm not just being romantic. I miss your presence, your person. The fact that you have always been there for me. The fact that I could only be myself with you. This goes beyond any man-made definition of "love" and "relationship", for I don't know how to define them and I don't care. I just know that I needed you in my life and that you also needed me back.

Today, I'll raise a glass to celebrate the wonder of you, and how much you meant in my life. Memories that will light my heart like an inextinguishable flame. The precious moments we shared together and the lengths you went to make me happy.

I'm sure that at this very moment you're probably trying to reach Sean, who has just arrived to your current place, to get me his autograph as you did in your earthly existence with Eva Green, Gemma Arterton, Léa Seydoux, Judi Dench and many other Bond actresses. And that whenever my time comes, you'll give it to me along with a big hug and kiss.

Thank you for the precious moments that made me a better man.
Je t'aime de tout mon coeur.